marți, 3 mai 2011

Blind date( I)

I'm a pathetic girl in need for affection, split up every day between  work and school, her kitchen, her books, her bed and her slippers with no humane capacity of keeping friends and too shy to pick up men in bars and no intention to whatsoever. I said it once and will keep on saying it- I suck and not bragging about it!

Anyway, though I'm trying not to meet men and I keep reducing pssibilities(men are bad, okeey?), sometimes I just can't help them falling on my head(not my bed), or more to say, my... inbox. There's no possibity of online dating that I haven't experienced so far. There's no nerdy freak I haven't  dated by now. Hopefully!

But this one was special. Let's call him S.

How did we meet? It was simply "destiny".

I booked some tickets for Prague and well, let's just say that I've been distracted and made a spelling mistake to my own email adress. I know.

Couple minutes after, this amazingly sexy, manly, kenny, softy, sensual, penetrating voice called me and I felt my knees softening and my blood runing faster through my veins. Prolly some progesteron rush.

My tickets were in his inbox. But! Coincidence or not, he had booked the very same day a ticket to the very same location. Ding! Plus, he had the same name as I did and similar surname to mine. It was too much not to explore this, right?!

So the emails started to flow between us as honey and milk must flow in heaven(I've heard) and he charmed my ego with sweet bullshit such "What we're living now, it's called The Butterfly Effect". I know, I'm a softy!
Being a sucker for weirdos, the movie itself and fighting with my high level of  progesteron I dated the guy.

I have a thing for not showing pictures previous the date ( I just think it's bad taste) and manage our way in googling ourselves to find out at least we're not dating some creatures of hell or the sort. So I googled him, he seemed ok.

The date day!
Finally glowing upon me! After wasting couple of  hours trying to show up as if I naturally look cute&cute&not too sexy, I went out. I tried to be 7 mins late-not 3, but not 10 either, to make sure I let him know I will be late(to build up some trust there, you know?).
I admit I called  a friend to sing me a weird song in the ear so I won't run away in front of the date bar door.

Stepping in..Oh god, I feel so embaressed-why am I doing this and where the hell is that twat?!

Fuck, no! Yeah hi, yeah it's me..ummm... sorry, I have to run to the toilet.Brb

Two phone touchscreen buttons after: -  Omg,  please save me! He's wearing pink! Who the hell wears pink on the first date??!Ok, ok, I'll be nice,yesss, i'm just nervous!

What can I say, I was to embaressed to leave after the first 5 mins.One reason or another, he  just couldn't look at me. I did try to get drunk and see "things" cuter than they were, I tried to see HIM cuter and less boring, I tried to get him drunk too, so he could let go his natural stiffness, to stop talking for 2 minutes about himself(freakin' self-centred pinky !) and to actually look at me(did I spent 2 hours to put on make-up in vain?!).

The guy was a postdoctorand in nanochemistry(whatever that means)-which I knew and found very hot on e-mails(how awfully wrong!), aiming for a Nobel (hahahahah) and constantly talking about membrane and air particles and nanomolecules, making sure that while doing so he's sipping my wine and smoking my cigarettes.

That night, he bought a drink, I bought 3 and a pack of ciggies. I had a drink and 2 ciggarettes, he had my other two drinks also that were on the table(without asking) and 18 ciggies(tasking for each of one). That, in 1, 5 hours, the time that took me to get enough courage to raise on my feet and tell him in the face he was a fucktard jerk, turned around and left, came back, took my coat, enjoyed his amazed monkey grimase, turned around again and left home.
And we happily split ever after. Need I say more?Butterfly effect my ass!

 On my way I stopped by a kiosk and bought a bottle of white wine that no one was gonna drink from besides me, got home, admired myself in the mirror(don't go there!) put on a vintage movie and half bottle of wine later I made courage and for the first time, I called Superman.

But that's another story....

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