marți, 31 mai 2011

THE DEATH OF A SUPERHERO

Omg indeed!

My brain was quickly searching for salvation, fast methods to vanish from a date!! But no, it was tooooo late! Waaay too late...

OK, soo, Superman was....let's just say ...wasn't  superman AT ALL!

I wanted to punch him, really !How can one use the name of  such a superhero...for...for...a dwarf?!

MY Superman was 1, 60, 50 kilos,  a combination of 3 hairs and the rest of the head... I haven't decided if he was going bald or just burnt his hair last night and his  face was full of... moisty teenager dots. His clothes...welll..puuh-leeze, let's not get there-I remember some ripped off jeans which had nothing to do with a classic shirt and a lot of oil on his face. I could feel his natural oil when he kissed me!!

Yes he did, I don't know how, I was just too stunned, trying to adjust to the feeling of being deceived ...and especially the reality in front of me when he jumped at me and kissed ... my chick,  for Fuck's sake!

Anyway, Superman was waiting for me with white wine and  fancy glasses and... a stupid face which was only moving its lips to ask me shit such as-whatareyourhobbieswhatdoyoudoforlivingwhyareyousingle.My favourite trio. The most disgusting 3 clichees someone can ask you on a first date.
Oh no, there's also: Doyouspitorswallow clichee also but that's just for drunken first dates.

Ok, Superman was 19. Yes, 19. I actually think he was 16, but nevermind.


I excused myself to the ladies and called 911.

911 is my emergency friend."Pleeease, Paul, please, call me, say smth , like you need me, it;s urgent, make me believe you and act accordingly, you're at the hospital, you need some... blood from me, SOMETHING!"

That costed me a dinner out. And icecreams.  And a movie after. And pancakes next morning for Paul. But I it was fuckign worth it!

When Superman wanted to kiss me goodbye I said No!

I'm lying , I actually just turned my back and ran. He kept sms-ing  me and one night I was kind of tipsy and with such a beautiful boy beside me  that i took some guts and  wrote him back "I just got married".

I haven't heard from him since and I hate him for ruining my Superman fantasy.

Now, I don't get it- how can such a surrealist written communication to be just a soap bubble in the air?!?

How much can I project on the others?

When will I learn?

And where the fuck is MY  Superman?!

3 comentarii:

  1. You know, Superman shows up just when we lost all hope and all odds seem to be against. That's why he's a superhero, right? ;) Of course, there are also the chubbies which take advantage of the deadliest combination of them all: Internet+women's imagination.
    Sometimes I think I'd rather be kidnapped and raped by aliens than let my imagination be trashed by an internet fuck-head.

    Anyways, my Superman appeared just as I said "there's no Superman out there and, even if there was, I don't wanna know". Maybe you should just discover a miraculous way to get to that phase. :P

    RăspundețiȘtergere
  2. @Vesnicie-Supergirls just fly!:P

    @Cata- thanks for the recipe, it's in the making :)

    RăspundețiȘtergere